Thoughts. Pent up thoughts!

I was kind of worrying about all the things in the world that i want to speak and share but the friends that I would like to throw such random stuffs (either because I'm following it or expecting to fast-track my learning based on their inputs) are unavailable to me. Complicated matters, when heart gets involved. Anyways, i need to put across my thoughts and probably I'll research a little more if I've to write about it rather than going on with in the conversational way gathering energy and knowledge from the other person. It'll also help reducing my undue dependence on people for random topic discussions and give quality time. And when we do engage in such topics, I'll have more to bring to the table than otherwise.

With that motivation and reading the blogs of some acquaintance (which I was doing until now), I decided to start LJing again. It'll be my ramblings and musings and need not make sense to anyone else. I hope I can transfer some of that not required energy and time for friends, writing here. Time which is the shortest commodity I own.

Strange Relationships

10 years...and still the sight of your name makes my heart skip a beat
I can never be numb to you
My heart can get used to the ache but it will never ignore you
The happiness you fill me with...with even the silliest things...makes it all worth it
Remember this is not a love story.

Kattale Belaku - A play

Took time off from office to see a play called "Kattale Belaku" (meaning Darkness is Light) in Ranga Shankara. The language was Kannada. Pretty interesting it was. The main story was basically about a writer's dilemma on his worth and the kind of stories he wrote vs the kind of stories he like. More than the message, i liked the little bits in the play.

1. There was a scary looking person constantly saying "Solu" (meaning Failure) whenever the writer engages in a conversation with himself admiring his accomplishments or worthlessness of it. The scary person might be to represent the 'fear of failure'... i'm guessing. I liked the way the actor expressed his restlessness and his fear.
2. There were two people, maybe producers, who were convincing him to write plays for him so that they can produce and direct it. The conversations that goes on between them takes many funny turns and this one guy who is mostly quiet on words gives the punch funny lines whenever he talks.
3. Then in intervals there was this adivasi gang of god knows what makes entry with loud noises and creepiness. If at all any boredom was creeping by, their periodic entry was refreshing.
I had difficulty with language as i'm not very proficient in Kannada along with multiple dialects used but it was interesting to listen and learn. This was the first group play i'm watching and enjoyed it too. The previous two i've watched are performed by solo artists on stage.

I was so stressed before the play and suddenly during the play i felt so relaxed and had a constant smile which i felt was like Jesus' disciples. :D

P.S: I went back to office to collect my bag and i was so late. (Walk of about half an hour as i couldn't find an auto rickshaw to get back). I should have just come to watch the play with my bag. I reached home around 11 whereas i could have reached by 10. Not to mention the wait by Ola Cabs and subsequent cancellation because of their faulty location detector app. I was so angry for being stranded on a lonely road. It was an auto fellow en route that was kind enough to take me with normal charge.
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An angel who talks about happiness

Today one of the cab driver pursued me to get into an airport cab at 9:00 PM for the fare i pay the bus so that he does not have to go empty for an airport pick up. My home lies on the way to the airport.
He has pursued two other elderly couple en route to the airport. He began simple conversation with me. I was slightly uncomfortable as i wanted little to give away as the driver was sitting next to me or me next to the driver. Eventually he picked up the conversation again and told about his travel and retirement interest, his past positions and that he was also a professor in management. I spoke to him further with no inhibitions.

He told me - "find happiness". Happiness is not in acquisitions but in simple small things like the no motive conversation we are having now.

After i bid my bye when my home lane was near, he told the cab driver to wait until i cross the road. Being a highway, motorist drive like maniacs even when the pedestrian signals are on. The angels that god sends!

I was reading an older gibberish of mine where i was talking about my inability to put an already reserved person at ease. Here was god's angel engaging in live example.

The Risen Happiness

Watched the movie 'Risen' today. I'm speechless at how happy and in love the disciples were with each other. Can you be so happy?

There are times i laugh, giggle mindlessly at each and every joke including the most stupidest joke, just happy with the company that i'm in. This also means...sometimes to some people...maybe that i'm easy (irrespective of the gender)...needless to say, bringing confusion to my mind...which i'm already overworking just trying to fit in the world. Bad with my social skills as i'm.

And my question remains, can you be so happy?!

P.S: The movie was beautiful and a wonderful way of showing how endless Yeshuva's love is for us.
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Saplings :D

Long hiatus!

Planted saplings today at a school on account of World Environment day. I must have planted trees back in Kerala but don't remember, i wanted a memory of planting trees, memory of having partaken in it. Today gave me that opportunity. So happy. To top the kids in the school were so enthusiastic and appreciative. They were angels. :)

P.S: My page layout still exists!